How well do we really know anyone? We might spend months and years loving someone,living with them, only to one day to realise our own follies and misconceptions. Sometimes people wear their masks so well that they themselves start believing and living their own lies. And then we tell ourselves and others that we know them.
And not only do we know them but bet our lives on it.
How many times would we have died if we were held to those words? In the myriad variables of human nature, certain decisions of ours become so naive and laughable when we rest our case on another's needs, wants, desires and future course of actions.
We, who are so incapable of sometimes truly knowing our own desires, so courageously even if foolishly, make possible life-alerting decisions thinking we know this person so well. Sometimes our such convictions push us onto riskier roads while other times they preclude us from certain acts out of fear of the possible outcomes, both dependant upon the predicted actions and reactions of someone other than ourselves.
There are things I believed so passionately in, some years back that today are but grey. Could I have predicted the present me back then? I highly doubt it. But look at my own folly alas! I risk my happiness and my trust by vesting it in someone I believe I know. Again and again.
Maybe that is a lesser sin than risking someone else's happiness based on my own presumptions and assumptions. Maybe it's a lesser evil than not risking anything at all out of fear. But the root of the evil is the same, no matter how innocently committed.
Though it must be my own karma, that I risked my happiness so many times with trust in another's future actions and lost; and then another decided to not risk it due to fear of MY future actions and I lost again.
"I am not the girl I used to be." But will I be the girl he predicts me to be? Maybe we will never know. Sometimes the price is paid in advance with your happiness as collateral.
wonderful!
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