It comes in waves. When was the last time you held someone and cried your heart out? Do you remember the moment? The person? How did it feel? That complete surrender and relief? It is so easy to tell oneself that you just haven't found someone worth surrendering to. But maybe all that talk about integrity and honesty and waiting for the right person is just hogwash. The truth something sadder and more pathetic. What if noone ever found YOU worthy enough to take in their arms while you let the tears lose, hold you while you ruin their shirt in tears and snob? Running noses don't always make for pretty damsels in distress afterall.
Being rejected for the upteenth time does not make you a martyr. It just makes your existence a little more miserable and pitiful. All those moving- "strong and bold and independent", statements are nothing but moonshine. Because how many evenings will one spend alone writing attention-seeking-grovelling-pitiful-articles-about-love-and-loss?
Maybe the waves in me are just responding to the full moon tonight. Just a shout out to all the mad and the sad. Because sometimes that is the only thing you can do. An art you perfect- silently screaming as waves and waves of tears crush you from inside-out, while your pen moves flawlessly, calm and composed.
